by Sean Orr | Ha ha, Brazil! First you blew the World Cup, now this: Canada’s degradation of pristine, intact forests leads world. “Researchers suggest oil and gas industry plays a big role”. Thanks researchers, or as I like to call them, “the enemy”.

Why are they trying to stand in the way of our robust oil economy? Soaring Oil Debt: Returns diminish as energy companies resort to higher-cost, higher-risk hydrocarbons.

“In addition to seeing fewer vehicles on the road (a startling U.S. reality already), we shall also see lower wages (except in the hydrocarbon industry), rising food prices, rising personal debt loads, increased demands on governments increasingly short of revenue, explosive inequalities in wealth and rising political conflict”.

B.C. premier’s office says Christy Clark ‘lunch’ tweet is fake. The tweet may be fake, but the sentiment isn’t.

Not a fake tweet from Joey “Shithead” Keithley of legendary punk band DOA:

Glad my kids finished school #BCTF has got to realize you can’t have your cake & eat it too Time for compromise Get kids back in school

— Joe Keithley (@DOAJoe) September 5, 2014

Which is to say that punk’s not dead. It just goes to bed earlier.

And you know you’re in trouble when Nickelback is more left-wing than you: Nickelback Creates a ‘Revolution’ With Brand-New Video. Hmm, millionaires co-opting the protest movement to sell stuff? Unheard of!

Related: The Total Annihilation of Life as We Know It.

War on error: Nelson sex shop makes love, not war as it deals with backlash of sharing name with Islamic extremism…

Little did Fierro she know when she picked the Egyptian goddess named ISIS for her business, that one day it would be a name made infamous by beheadings and radical Islamic preaching and brutal violence that has been condemned around the world.

“We’ve had our fingers crossed that this will go away,” the store owner has reportedly said, coincidentally mimicking the same strategy employed by the United Nations.

Driving a wedge: Cyclists and pedestrians sometimes don’t mix on the mean streets of Vancouver. If only we could do something like – oh, I don’t know – make separated bike lanes?

Related: 20 people died last week because of…cars.

Tonight, there’s gonna be a jail break: TransLink blames latest system shutdown on passengers who broke out of train. Weird. I wonder where they got the idea that they’d be stranded for hours and not minutes?

Addressing both high housing costs and transit funding with one tax. Hey, maybe Gregor can talk about this idea during his campaign and then never implement it.

Meanwhile, calling all bankers, mining execs, and CEOs: Vancouver Affordable Housing Agency: Call for board directors.

Another day, another terrible “Gastown is hip” article: Gastown’s ‘fiercely local vibe’ makes it among the most stylish neighbourhoods in the world. New drinking game: take a sip every time someone calls Gastown “gritty”.

Bonus: Looking at the history of Vancouver’s alcohol-fueled underbelly.