On Saint Nick In The Clink And Harper’s Horrible, No Good Year

7TqUXvE

by Sean Orr | Horrible Anus: Harper’s horrible year comes full circle. “Call it the curse of Chief Theresa Spence…”. Oh, right! Because she’s just some sort of mystical Indian medicine woman and not an accomplished political leader. Understood.

Saint Nicked: Canada Making North Pole Claim Despite Not Fully Mapping Area. Tough-on-crime Harper heard there was a guy living there who breaks into people’s houses and climbs down their chimneys. The man must fill his prisons!

No Noel: Santa suit must go, Coast Mountain tells bus driver. Of course, what they don’t tell you is that drunk people kept sitting on the guy’s lap and asking for ponies while he was driving. And that’s just dangerous.

Progressive regressive: Vancouver’s political landscape shifting ahead of election season. “Bitter, confrontational and often disrespectful to people throughout the city? Sounds like my kind of politics”! – Jay Watts.

Cruller than you thought: Tim Hortons boss accused of cheating Filipino workers for OT. They should totally demand Double-Double time.

Clark casts doubt on Asian countries’ plans to set LNG prices. “I don’t know that there will be a buyers’ club – I don’t know all the competitors in Asia will be able to get together to set those prices”. Or, if we were a Mathematically Literate World, that headline would read “Free market fundamentalist has no idea how free market works”. She also seems to think that global environmental standards have no relevance to BC: “I suspect they are referencing environmental conditions that don’t exist in British Columbia […] We’ve been doing this for 50 years, we have a pretty good idea of the GHG emissions from different reservoirs of natural gas in the province.” If that’s not methane, then what is that horrible smell?

Absolutely related: What Climate Change Does to Our Minds.

Tweet of the Day c/o Derek O’Keefe:

Craigslist of the Year: Brown Leather Couch – $100 (coquitlam).

Honour Bound: Help homeless with storage facility.

Top image: Happy Holidays: Canadian style.

There are 0 comments

On Developers Stomping Feet and Doubting that Vancouver is Awesome

A read of the local headlines finds Burb Panzers on fire, bad decisions abounding and plenty of self-serving bullshit.

On Boondoggles and Seeking Treatment for Vancouver’s Infectious Superficiality

A read of the local headlines reveals bad drivers, horrible politicians and vacuous yearnings in the shallows.

On Childish Nincompoops and Vancouver’s Growing Inability To Staff Itself

Sean Orr's latest read of the local headlines reveals a labour shortage and the Millennium Falcon in Surrey.

On Nude Oil Workers and Visual Metaphors for Tax Evasion

Sean Orr looks at the latest headlines and discovers satirical pitches, shallow sports cars, politics as usual and a mountain of garbage.