by Sean Orr | I’m going to open my own whinery: MLA who stepped aside for Clark to get a seat appointed trade commissioner. I know I shouldn’t be the least bit surprised by this, but I just wonder how the conversation actually went. “Ben, we want to say thanks but we don’t want to appear nepotistic.” “OK, boss, but maybe just wait six months when nobody will remember my name or care.” “Good call. Here’s 150 grand.”

There is no rape culture. Unprecedented police presence at UBC, one of North America’s safest universities. “This is one of the safest campuses in North America. There is not normally a climate of fear or of insecurity on the campus”. Hmm, is that why you made cuts to Safewalk three years ago?

Wave of mediocrity set to engulf nation of milquetoasts: Help The Tyee Go National. I don’t know why I’m so mean to The Tyee. It really is quite an ok publication, most of the time.

I’m sneaking a mickey into tonight’s game: More, harder booze at games is a bad idea. Right, because the riot was started by people inside Rogers Arena and not by suburbanites who were forced to binge drink after the VPD stupidly closed all the liquor stores.

Nothing tastes better than a freshly picked scab: Japadog closes Richmond Ikea stand after online shaming. But, but… “Japadog was very busy the whole day they were on site, and they really have nothing to do with the dispute”. Yeah, way to completely miss the point.

Vancouver company faces backlash after partygoers burned at Halloween bash. That’s horrifying! “Others said they had a great time at the party”. Oh, welll…never mind then.

Vancouver company wants to squeeze you into 100-square-foot micro-homes. I love the subtle suggestion – by a publication that relies on real estate marketing dollars – that the company is trying to force you into these homes.

5 Worst Things About Working at Aritzia. Guess what? Not being Chinese is one of them. “Given the high volume of customers that speak Mandarin and Cantonese, and the amount of employees that can speak these languages, it is SO easy to lose sales”. I feel, like, SO sorry for you.

Tweet of the day c/o Greg Eh: “Tourists just asked where bathrooms are in Waterfront station, so I had to explain to them why Canada hates public space and the homeless”.

It’s 2048, Vancouver is Manhattan, and we still haven’t demolished the viaducts: The future is closer then you think. See also, How to Manhattanize a City.