On The Sauder School Of Douchebags And A Tax On All Our Tokes

image-(1)

by Sean Orr | The big news over the weekend was this offensive chant at UBC during Frosh week. The big question, then, is if business schools incubate criminals and not just douchebags?

We need some crime to liven things up around here: ‘Livable’ Vancouver could be more ‘lovable’. “For everyone who sees Copenhagen as one of the world’s coolest bicycling meccas, there’s someone who views it as dull as a seven-day-old Danish. They’d far prefer a night out in Detroit”. This coming from the guy who says pot is dangerous. I do agree on one thing, however, politeness is boring.

But how can we become a bustling metropolitan centre when nobody even lives here? Two-thirds of Canadians live in the suburbs, study finds (as in within 2 minutes of a Tim Hortons).

Chief Jim Chu’s call for ticketing marijuana users is just another tax grab. So if they legalize it, they will tax it, and if they don’t legalize it, there will be fines? But isn’t a fine just another type of tax? Jesus, man…I need another toke.

Meanwhile, in Victoria: Jamie Graham says cops should seize bicycles if cyclists are caught four times without a helmet. You are probably more likely to get it stolen before that ever happens, dude. Also helmets do not equal safety.

And while we’re debunking things: British Columbia should keep an eye on the Fukishima disaster. Nowhere in this article does it mention that cesium breaks down quickly and doesn’t absorb into animal bones. Strontium does, but it doesn’t mention that either. Chalk it up to bad PR.

Mass UFO sighting at Canada baseball game. “Even the winning team acknowledged the UFO sighting”. Yeah, probably not a Vancouver Canadians publicity stunt at all.

Vision Vancouver launches Better Transit Now. No more pass ups, eh? So why are they promoting a tunnel under Broadway when they could buy more busses and actually achieve that goal?

There are 4 comments

  1. That is exactly what I’m saying. It seems weird they are saying no more pass-ups when they could spend the money they would’ve spent on a rapid-transit line under Broadway on busses instead. But it’s not sexy like a subway is, which, if you look at the website, is the actual graphic they decided to use for the campaign.

  2. I like how their goal is 1000 signatures. Way to reach for the sky with your petition Vision.

On Developers Stomping Feet and Doubting that Vancouver is Awesome

A read of the local headlines finds Burb Panzers on fire, bad decisions abounding and plenty of self-serving bullshit.

On Boondoggles and Seeking Treatment for Vancouver’s Infectious Superficiality

A read of the local headlines reveals bad drivers, horrible politicians and vacuous yearnings in the shallows.

On Childish Nincompoops and Vancouver’s Growing Inability To Staff Itself

Sean Orr's latest read of the local headlines reveals a labour shortage and the Millennium Falcon in Surrey.

On Nude Oil Workers and Visual Metaphors for Tax Evasion

Sean Orr looks at the latest headlines and discovers satirical pitches, shallow sports cars, politics as usual and a mountain of garbage.