by Sean Orr | An insult to sell-outs everywhere: Chairman Harper and the Chinese Sell-Out. I read so much news I am turning into a bitter, jaded old man. I mean, this is super important, and I’m sure I could be called out for doing a similar thing, but god damn if this doesn’t come off as paranoid hyperbole. I mean, “economic treason”? He’s just a fat corporate dweeb and we would do well not to make him into some terrifying shadowy figure. Besides, I’m voting for Strange Women Lying Around in Ponds Distributing Swords 2012.

Reality has always been virtual: Bieber fan feels wrath of Twitterverse after Rick Rypien memorial graffitied (w/ video). I don’t know…maybe that we’ve made it into a sub-reality with it’s own cute little name (“Twitterverse”) is what’s wrong in the first place. Case of mistaken identity? Delete your account and chalk it up as the price of using a free technology that connects you to millions upon millions of complete strangers.

That being said, this is awful. Cyberbullying: Outpouring of grief over teen’s suicide (with video). Not just the teen’s suicide, but also how all the media outlets keep showing her video. Perhaps the focus should be on how we deal with bullies instead.

The lost Canadian toast. Cultural appropriation is da bomb!

Gastown named 4th most stylish neighbourhood in the world. And with that, Gastown is no longer the most sylish neighbourhood in the world. I’m going to start wearing Columbia Rain Jackets and tear-away fleece yogapants to make it worse.

But wait, a new contender has emerged! Canada’s Next Great Neighbourhoods: Hastings-Sunrise, Vancouver. Why can’t we just be happy with who we are? “Over its 140-year-history, the area’s primarily working-class base has kept things down to earth, even when the fervour of the Vancouver 2010 Olympic Winter Games ushered in shiny condos, a trendy foodie scene and a rebranding as the East Village”. So you mean Hastings-Sunrise has, in fact, failed to keep things down to earth? Am confused.

Blame Toronto? Blame Vision? Toronto bankers put the squeeze on Vancouver real-estate developers. Although this reeks of western alienation it presents us with a quandary: while more regulation of the economy by the Conservative government may prevent a bubble, it also prevents bankers from taking risks on lower income families. But that doesn’t mean it’s an oversight on behalf of Vision, and I still don’t understand why people are freaking out about thin streets. I really don’t.

Ottawa to consider penning oilsands caribou. OMG! I am such a genius…(read aloud in the voice of Dr. Steve Brule)…instead of pipelines…get the reindeer to carry the oil, silly!