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(HONOURARY) VANCOUVERITES: 5 Minutes With Renowned Slam Poet Shane Koyczan

Internationally recognized Canadian slam poet and writer Shane Koyczan is a legend across Canada. Although he was born in Yellowknife and raised in Penticton, he has also logged a significant number of hours wandering the wilds of Vancouver and we would like to claim him as an honorary Vancouverite whenever possible. He’s coming to town this week to pull a gig at the Vogue (details here) and we caught up with him on tour to ask him a few questions in advance of that show…

Best thing about Penticton in the Winter? It’s easier to find cuddle buddies because I’m big and warm.

Best thing about Penticton in the Summer? Midnight bike rides.

Default drink/cocktail of choice? Vodka and soda water with lime.

The Vancouverite that you admire most and why? Ivan Coyote. I admire integrity.

Your role models?  Are so cool that they wouldn’t want to see their names printed here because it would compromise their egos.

First summer job/part time job as a kid? I worked at a convenience store called The Red Rooster…interestingly it was the same store where I got hit by a van in their parking lot.

The historical personalities, both good and bad, that fascinate you the most? Charlie Chaplin and Grigori Efimovich Rasputin.

The dumbest thing that you’ve ever done to your hair? Once upon a time I had a mullet.

What does poetry offer to community? Poetry.

Your go to, no-frills place for dinner in Penticton? Haveli…it’s not fancy. Just great Indian food.

Your go to, no-frills place for dinner in Vancouver? Brittania Sushi.

If you could board a plane this afternoon, where would it be taking you? To her…wherever she is.

The strangest place you’ve ever been to? A potluck where every guest brought the same dish. There was lots of ginger beef to go around that night.

The three books that you read that made an impact on you in your formative years? Watership Down, Yurtle The Turtle, Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret. 

What is the best way to get to know a neighbourhood? Say hello to it’s inhabitants.

Where was the last place you traveled to for work or pleasure? Currently on tour and last night was Guelph so it was work but the audience made it an absolute pleasure.

What is your biggest phobia? I have horrible vertigo.

Where did you go to school? Lots of different places. Playgrounds, parking lots, libraries and some actual schools.

The cliché that you overuse? Safety never takes a holiday.

The strangest talent that you possess? Getting cats to love me.

What trend have you followed that you now regret? Obesity.

Shoe of choice? Cambrians.

The different career path that you could have gone on? I wanted to be a marine biologist until I saw Jaws.

Your ancestry? Is long and detailed.

Your three favourite films? Are probably the best three films I’ve ever seen.

Beach or forest? Forest.

Under what circumstances would you join the army? If the army was suddenly tasked to defend the earth from big business and environmental enemies.

Your most regrettable purchase ever? A white silk shirt… Nipple Alert!!

Your major character flaw? I have some pretty awful trust issues.

The character flaw in others that you can’t abide? Hubris.

How do you know when you can trust someone? I ask a magic eight ball.

What was the luckiest moment in your life? Surviving a car accident.

What was the unluckiest moment in your life? Losing someone I care about.

What are you the most proud of? The students at GP Vanier who worked on the Instructions For A Bad Day project.

What are you the least proud of? Not being present in a relationship.

The biggest mistake you’ve ever made? Was saying no.

What is the best thing about your work? Traveling.

What is the worst thing about your work? Traveling.

Favourite Vancouver neighbourhood? Commercial Drive

The talent that you wish you possessed? It’d be pretty great to be able to slip away unnoticed mid-conversation…like Batman.

What are you listening to as you answer these questions? My band talking about Kia Kadiri and Five Alarm Funk.

What musical instrument do you secretly long to play? Gamelan.

What sport did you give up and why? Wrestling…I hurt someone really badly and have felt guilty ever since.

What is the game that you’re best at? Scrabble?

What is the one animal that scares you the most? Irukandji (it’s a tiny jellyfish).

If you had a motto, what would it be? Sparkles are for birthday cakes and club kids, not for vampires.

Scariest situation you’ve ever been in? Car breakdown on a deactivated road miles away from civilization.

Your favourite word? Preposterous.

Your least favourite word? Panties.

Your favourite curse word? Dickhead.

Three things of no monetary value that you own and will keep dearly until you die? My dignity, my wits and my friendships.

The strangest road you’ve ever travelled? Deactivated road out of Terrace.

Your first memory? Rain.

The first album that made you love music? The Cat Came Back by Fred Penner

The song that you could listen to on repeat for an hour? Spiegel Im Spiegel by Arvo Part.

The one place that you have the least interest in ever visiting? The Phantom Zone.

The first three things that you do every morning? Pee, stretch and go back to bed.

Describe your favourite photograph: it’s a photo of my grandma wielding a steak in a threatening manner.

When you can’t sleep: I pretend.

What is beauty? Colour and depth.

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Shane Koyczan and The Short Story Long will be appearing at the Vogue Theatre on Saturday, April 21. Tickets still available here