by Sean Orr | Hey look! We’ve finally made the switch to quasi-fascist, knee-jerk reactionary, xenophobic, pseudo-hard line conservative, neo-American fucktards! White straight male? No thanks. Just listen to this stuttering, blow-hard, mouth-breather. He can barely force out the slurred hatred between wheezes. “I’m not making fun of alternative lifestyles,” I’m just totally threatened by them. Enough that I’m going to wear a ceremonial head-dress and a sequinned blue cocktail dress on television. Also, since when is Toronto pronounced “Chonto”?

And why complain about affirmative action when your boy is in the house doing real damage? Stephen Harper won’t impose a social agenda on Canada, but he will export it.

Thus, we apologize. Sorry World. It’s because we’re so damn polite.

All in the Family: Christy Clark names former lobbyist chief of staff. “Boessenkool was a policy adviser and strategist for Harper and, in a separate job, lobbied for a long list of clients including Suncor Energy, GlaxoSmithKline, Enbridge, and Taser International”. Any doubt that the pipeline is going through no matter what anybody thinks has been officially erased. Might as well take some Zoloft™ otherwise you’re gonna get Tasered™.

Anti-social networking: Breastfeeding pics pulled from B.C. woman’s Facebook. Because a naked woman equals porn!

Usually it does? The government’s sleight of hand doesn’t fool charities. Is it just me or does Christy Clark look like Lisa Simpson?

Douglas Coupland hides secret messages in QR codes for Canada Line passengers. Oh cool! Do they mention that it was built by a company that manufactured bullets used in the Iraq War? Or maybe the mention the foreign labourers who were intimidated out of forming unions! No? Expect to the codes to reveal “photographs of various sites like Grouse Mountain and the Olympic Cauldren (sic), public artworks including Coupland’s own Digital Orca, and even written messages like ‘everything beautiful is true'” instead. Oh…

Welcome to Alberta, no ins and outs: B.C. senior snared by draconian drunk driving law. “I’m not drunk. I’m just incredibly old”.

Tweet of the Day, c/o Greg Eh: “A robed cult has started camping in Stanley Park around the Aquarium, chanting that the dead otter is a sign of the end times”.

Shit Vancouverites Say. Hey look. I made a list.