TEA & TWO SLICES: On Rick Perry Annexing Canada And 2011’s Forgotten News Stories

by Sean Orr | Busted: Canada quietly shipping bomb-grade uranium to US. But not to worry. They’ll probably just use it against their own citizens.

Ladies and gentlemen, ‘the gaffe’ as campaign tactic: Does Rick Perry plan to annex Canada? “Every barrel of oil that comes out of those sands in Canada is a barrel of oil that we don’t have to buy from a foreign source”. Of course, this exposes a much more benign and insidious cultural (not political) assimilation, but that doesn’t mean we still can’t laugh at the guy. And point. Point and laugh.

Vancouver (Politics) is Awesome: Vancouver Mayor’s Gregor Robertson’s foster son facing drug, gun charges. Of course, the Susan Antonites are just going to jump all over this, and yet, if anything, the story should be about B.C.’s Foster Care program.

Judging a book by it’s cover: Vancouver lawyer attacks ‘neo-Nazi’ allegations. The claims are totally unfounded, except that there appear to be videos of them training, pictures of them at meetings, and well…just look at them!

New Westminster showed it was the ‘city that could’ by stopping NFPR. More forgotten news of the year: the server wage, the Rocky Mountaineer lock-out, Red Gates eviction, Pantages demolition, the health of First Nations, the Canada Boat to Gaza, and the Conservatives being the first government to burn documents since…oh…the Nazis? Best news: City Caucus calls it quits. Most over-reported: pretty much anything from this: The Sun’s top news items of 2011.

Happy Holey days: Four fatal shootings since Christmas Eve strike Vancouver area. Guns don’t kill people, the suburbs do. “The rash of shootings comes on the heels of a report by the Vancouver-area Gang Task Force, which said guns are getting seized in 2011 at a rate three times that of 2010”.

Perhaps now the killings will stop: Escaped cow finds refuge after months wandering through Surrey woods. Oh man, I bet she tastes so good.

Thought canon: 2012 corporate tax cuts questioned by think tank. Notice that when it’s a “left leaning” policy institute, Postmedia makes sure you know by putting it in the headline, but whenever the Fraser Institute or their rightish ilk issue a report, they just run it as fact.

How to editorialize a story in one easy step: First, it was running a safe place to inject drugs. Now, Portland Hotel Society is giving free alcohol to alcoholics.. What’s next? Free nicotine patches? The horror.

Local boys make good: Dance party briefly shuts down two Portland bridges.

There are 0 comments

On Left-Wing Agreements in Principle and Mercenaries for the Millionaire Class

Sean Orr's latest read of the local headlines wonders at another Ford victory and peacocks doing their feathered best against excess.

On Having Pity for Point Grey and Canada Buying Blockbuster the Year Netflix Took Off

Sean's latest read of the news headlines finds heroes and villains in Point Grey and Trudeau buying a bag of magic beans.

On Dishwashing in the Woods and the Misunderstood Power of Fairy Dust

In his latest read of the headlines, Sean is reminded of how screwed Millennials are how BC was always going to mess up marijuana.

On More Feet Washing Ashore and Flinging All the Feces at Tim Hortons

Sean Orr's latest read of the local headlines finds parking meters accepting tips (satire) and more outrage from mouth breathers.