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Field Trip #590: Devouring Miles & More In The South Okanagan

by Andrew Morrison | The thing about pieces of junk old English cars is that you can’t keep them garaged. You need to drive them fast over long distances from time to time or they get offended. If they get angry, which isn’t out of the ordinary, they can demand $4000 to pass on to a wily mechanic named Felix who finds it no end of amusing that you don’t know the first thing about automobiles (like stubborn horses, they just won’t go unless you feed them). It was with that in mind that I politely declined to join a gaggle of journalists with my wife on a flight up to the South Okanagan. I’d much prefer to drive the 792km round trip, and nevermind that it was going to be so hot that reptiles would burn and Pirelli rubber would turn to Bovril. Some carefully considered music and an unreliable sunroof would help me ignore such things, and in case the brittle engine decided to suddenly get cruelly interesting, there was a bottle of 2009 Blended Coolant from Chateau Canadian Tire in the trunk.

I’d done the drive many times before. On account of construction, congestion and boredom it always seems a stupid thing to do until I turn onto the Crowsnest connector (aka the Hope-Princeton). It’s largely free of the traffic suck and marked by an absence of anything save for a few campgrounds here and there and 133km of wickedly snaking asphalt cutting through the bewilderingly beautiful lands of the Upper Similkameen band and the Sto:Lo Nation. It then slices through Manning Provincial Park with its 200+ and 60+ bird and mammal species, among them the spotted owl, the type of deer that love to watch cars go by and the fabulously tempestuous Wolverine which, I’m told, can stand its own and even emerge victorious against a fully grown cougar. There’s plenty to do and see in the park (tilting against cougars not included), but I only ever think to stop at its headquarters, where I feel comfortable enough to smoke without fear of burning everything around me to the ground.

As for its ancillary attractions, I once pulled over along the Skagit River to eat a cold sausage with a colder beer and ended up watching a wet-suited biology prof snorkeling side by side with a curvaceous red-head wearing a butt-hugging neoprene bodysuit. They were horizontally propelling themselves up the rounded stones of a shallow, brookish tributary, their fingers presumably probing for rough-skinned newts and long-toed salamanders (both native to these parts). It was a remarkable sight, and like some backwoods voyeur, I lost an hour of travel time waiting for them to go at it. That would have made for a fine story to tell. Alas, no.

Princeton is a nice enough town if you like Subway sandwiches, so it’s long been my habit to give it a miss. The scenery between it and the picturesque old mining hamlet of Hedley is lovely to be sure, but it’s now some three hours into the drive and I’m keen for a short swim in a big bath.

Led Zeppelin’s Battle Of Evermore is key here. Its mandolin is like Gatorade passed by a youthful, bouncing encourager to a last place marathon runner fresh out of endorphins and self-confidence with five miles left to go. Once you’ve located the extra strength, you come to the charming town of Keremeos and then the fruit village of Cawston, after which it’s best to drive with all the windows down to vacuum in the perceptible change in scenery from a sort of scrubby, Mad Max wasteland to a sweet and productive desert on topographical drugs.

When the road dips south with the Similkameen to lick the American border, the natural environment pays you back kilometer after kilometer. It’s at this point that I remembered why I didn’t want to fly and how it was a good thing that the antiquated machine carrying me came equipped with two gas tanks. By the time the climb north begins through a series of gorgeous valley expanses, the driver’s seat no longer feels like an uneven pile of dead sloths, and everything appears to be just right in the world, except for the slaughter of bugs accumulating on the windshield.

When you finally come to the near-isthmus town of Osoyoos with its Tim Hortons and parade of Albertans cruising the main drag, it’s a bit of a shock. You might even think, “I risked my life overtaking 17 motorhomes for this?” But then comes the lake and the many things that are upon it. The town’s apt name comes from the ancient local vernacular suius, meaning “a narrowing of the waters”. Its surrounds have been inhabited by First Nations for thousands of years and by those of European descent for 200. The official population hovers at roughly 5,000, but like other waterfront getaways in BC, that number inflates ridiculously in summer, with the bulk of those who’ve recently landed concentrating on the water.

The lakeside in front of where we were sequestered – the massive Watermark Beach Resort – is ground zero for the town. Its soft, hot sands play host to retirees in varying states of shocking undress, teenagers doing the full peacock and parents trying to insure that their children will survive through to the next hour. In the adjacent carpark, a GMC Safari van is surrounded by twenty-somethings from Quebec soaked in patchouli and juggling hackysacks between tokes of bad weed. A few cars down, three muscled-up Kelowna testoterophiles are listening to Beyoncé and swilling Red Bull. Everywhere there are people, and they all share the same desire regardless of age, gender or place of origin. They want fun and relaxation, and here are both in spades. I parked the car in the hotel garage, choosing to ignore the malevolent hissing of the engine after I shut it off and quickly walking away from what sounded like hot bacon fat dripping from the undercarriage to the concrete with a worrying “pish-pish-pish”. Out in the sunshine, the sound of flip-flops flipping and flopping filled the warm air and the lake breeze refreshed. It may be a little jarring in its Disneyian twang after such a long, naturally stunning drive, but a lake is a lake is a lake.

There were five other writers on the trip, most of whom I knew, and after re-introductions in Watermark’s lobby we headed north as a glad-to-be-here group to Painted Rock, a 60 acre winery on a squat bench overlooking the eastern shore of Skaha Lake. Owner John Skinner, a former stockbroker from Vancouver with a yen for local archaeology, fine wines and talking at length, gave us the nickel tour of the vines before leading us into the winery building where we sat down for several courses paired with his best stuff. The food – prepared in a trailer around back by chef/caterer Roger Planiden– was top drawer. The highlight was his introductory dish: a tasting trio of delicate Dungeness crab lit with cucumber and apple, a shot of smooth cauliflower veloute and a wedge of halibut glistening with lemon butter (paired with Painted Rock’s ’09 Chard).

Skinner kept us well in our cups with bottles of Red Icon and Merlot through the lamb and venison courses, and the night’s good humour – led by him – went longer than I think our itinerary allowed for. Not only was it a splendid, filling lark to end what had been a long day of little food and too much water, it was also the beginning of the Perseid Meteor Shower. As we ambled out into the dark and up the hill to our waiting vehicles we were treated to the first of many shooting stars of the night.

The following day, as the press group travelled to the Farmer’s Market in Penticton, dined at Bognar’s and took in Poplar Grove and Red Rooster wineries up in Naramata, my wife and I exhaled on the beach with our heads full of awful. I’d got a call early in the morning from the farm in Ontario, saying that my father had passed away suddenly in his sleep. He was only 61. I’ve penned a few words about that in another post, so suffice it here to say that I wasn’t all that keen on participating in the day’s events. My kind minders from Tourism Penticton (good folks all) understood that retreat for us was the only thing to do.

Grief, I’m told, has no timetable. I’m new to it, but think that if you’re convinced that you’re going to be sad for a while – and I absolutely was – then there’s nothing for it but to ride its whirlwind and eke out whatever blips of entertainment it might allow. The deus ex machina was the solace of good friends, namely Cameron Smith and Dana Ewart of Joy Road Catering (and God’s Mountain fame) and BC’s newest Master of Wine, Rhys Pender, who helped me get Scout started with several wine-related stories when we launched it nearly three years ago. Joy Road, may it please fate, was part of the press plan that evening; they were cooking an al fresco supper above Cawston at Orofino to showcase the local bounty. I’d be damned if I was going to miss that, their company and the opportunity to get back on the road.

The drive west from Osoyoos to Cawston is a sight more fantastic than it is east. Its curves and course are heart-stoppingly dramatic with a high desolation quotient, which is what I felt I needed, and there was no better musical accompaniment for it than Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon. The album came out in March of 1973, the month after I was born. I call it “womb music” because it was on absurdly heavy rotation in the house when I was a child (as it is for my children now). Back then it was like Shakespeare – even though I wasn’t fluent, I understood the general gist. I certainly felt the weight of its gravity at age 2, and that feeling has greatly increased ever since.

Anyway, the road and the moment were both designed for Us & Them (“Get out of the way, it’s a busy day and I’ve got things on my mind”). The engine seemed happy and there was no traffic at all. When I finally parked the car and checked under the engine bay, I saw that the sizzle drippings had ceased. Silver linings and all.

Orofino is owned by John and Virginia Weber. The attractive pair don’t fit the profile (John is an ex-school teacher and Virginia is a former nurse), and there’s a few nodules on my palate that really appreciate that. They make very good wine and do it in an eco-friendly way with a winery built of strawbales (the only one of its kind in Canada). Set on the high road above the winding Crowsnest and Cawston, it feels recessed enough to be granted middle-of-nowhere status. Backing up to the vines as it does under a sunset-lit, rocky massif, the beauty of its environs can freeze first-timers in their tracks. Add in several long tables dressed in silver and stemware, plus plenty of genuinely friendly locals, and you get the picture of what was about to go down. The cooking we knew was going to be amazing, the setting was all kinds of pretty, and we came with appetites for both.

Cam and Dana put out a marvellous spread of squash blossoms filled with confit zucchini and rosemary; smoked pork with cippolinis and apricots; salad of haricot vert and cider vinaigrette-drenched beets with sauce gribiche; wood-oven chicken with shaved fennel and peaches; loin of lamb rubbed with marjoram; grape leaves stuffed with lamb shoulder; lamb leg massaged with espelette pepper and roasted garlic; and a few other fabulous things besides (not to mention a plum wine zabaglione to finish us off). Nearly all of the ingredients had been sourced within 1.6 miles of Orofino, and the wines…well, the wines came from where we were sitting; happily outside in the stillness of a perfect BC summer night.

It was great to take some of the heavy load off, and better still to be among friends who knew how to enjoy themselves. On the drive back with bellies full and TV On The Radio turned up, I nearly hit a coyote slinking guiltily across the two lane highway in the gathering dark. I was glad to have missed it, and quite satisfied that the brakes worked.

In the morning, we took breakfast (lovely eggs benny and coffee) on the hotel’s restaurant patio before heading north to Covert Farms to tour its orchards and its Dunham & Froese vines. Founded in 1959, the farm sits at the foot of McIntyre Bluff, right where an ice dam is thought to have burst at the end of the last glaciation some 10,000 years ago.  It’s a heady place with a magnetic, mythic feel. We piled into the back of owner Gene Covert’s old truck and paid visits to ripe peaches, unearthed onions, gorgeous tomatoes and leaf-shaded strawberries.

We munched as we went, bumping over the rough ground, our cameras and ourselves occasionally blanketed with dust. The organic fields were open to pickers, and there were quite a few out despite the heat. A trip out to Stoneboat Vineyards with its ebullient owner Tim Martiniuk immediately followed (but not before a hearty lunch was taken under a shady tree with nearby hammocks for digestive repose). We sipped in the cool of the barrel room with Tim, who has the endearing habit of turning what could be a one minute answer to any question into a half hour lecture on the universe and the role his grapes play in it. I’m a big fan of his and especially of his twin sons, who argue as if they’re characters in a cartoon. I’m also a lover of the wines they make. They do an excellent, botrytis-affected sweet wine (the “Verglas”) and their predilection for experimenting with Pinot and Pinotage takes wonderful turns in the glass.

You’d think we’d all be full at this stage, but upon arrival back in Osoyoos we stopped in at Annina and Jorg Hoffmeister’s charming Dolci Artisan Fare on the main strip for what I assumed would only be a quick coffee refuel. Instead, we were led out back to a table set with a full spread of charcuterie, cheese, chocolate, wine and some outstanding bacon sandwiches. It was a proper gorge, and it’s in such moments that a professional must rely on his training.

And then came dinner, which was no small affair back at the hotel patio.  If there was any room left in our tanks, farmer-friendly chef Natasha Schooten (ex-Mission Hill during the reign of Michael Allemeier) made short work of us with local sweet pea arancini; tuna tagarashi with candied seaweed; petit ribeye steak and nougat of braised chuck with potato salad; and – gasp – little donuts made with blue cheese from Little Qualicum Cheese Works. All the paired wines were from down the road at La Stella, and walking us through them was their maker, the candidly frank James Cambridge.

I was up at dawn the next morning to stare at the lake before the hordes descended upon it. Very still. Very quiet. Very beautiful. After breakfast, we put our hats on and ventured into the 67 acre Osoyoos Desert Centre to watch out for snakes, badgers and the dung of coyote and deer. I’d been through last April when it was cooler, and found it just as enthralling in high summer.

A visit/tasting/tour at the new Hester Creek followed with winemaker Rob Summers, together with a quick lunch at their recently unleashed restaurant, Terrafina, where I was introduced to a bowl of spaghetti loaded with squid…

That was it for us. Back at Watermark (after a quick stop to replenish our cellar’s La Stella supplies), we packed up, charged our phones and generally got ready to roll. Our room was a self-contained unit on the 2nd floor overlooking the pool and the lake, and it was not a little sad to see it slipping through our fingers. Because of the heat, we’d kept the doors out to our deck closed all weekend long with the blinds down to indulge in air-conditioning, but I opened them for a final heave of fresh Okanagan air. I’d be back up a few more times in the coming weeks, but for now it was time to go. And so, cue The Doors, the open road and the worry that somewhere along it we would break down in a hurricane of blue smoke to be devoured by bears.

  • On the road again...
  • Winding through the Similkameen in the old Jag
  • Cloud over camper
  • Lightning and Shweet
  • Our room at the Watermark
  • Watermark pool early in the morning...
  • Watermark Hotel, Osoyoos. The pool by noon
  • Sand sharks
  • Watermark Wine Bar & Patio detail
  • The diminutive tasting room at Painted Rock
  • John Skinner, owner of Painted Rock
  • The barrel room at Painted Rock
  • Painted Rock
  • Painted Rock's Red Icon
  • Painted Rock
  • Painted Rock
  • Cooking in the trailer
  • Dungeness crab with cucumber and apple next to cauliflower veloute and halibut dressed in lemon butter
  • The table in Painted Rock's barrel room
  • Chocolate paté with fleur de sel, blackberries and rhubarb syrup
  • The hill to the carpark upon which a shooting star of the Perseid was enjoyed
  • Painted Rock
  • The winery at Painted Rock
  • Man on a mission in Keremeos
  • Similkameen signage
  • This way dinner
  • Lamb leg rubbed with roasted garlic and espelette pepper at Orofino
  • Cam readies lamb legs
  • Roastage
  • Roastiest
  • Dana from Joy Road Catering
  • Joy Road girls
  • Joy Road Squash blossoms filled with confit zucchini and rosemary
  • Golden beets waiting for a douse of local cider vinaigrette
  • Cam and Dana during prep
  • Wood-fired over at Orofino sees some action
  • John and Virginia of Orofino
  • Wines
  • Cheers, John
  • A handy windbreak from the evening wind
  • John gives a tour and talk on his straw bale winery ©Scout Magazine
  • Rhys Pender
  • Cheers
  • Joy Road's haricot vert with candy cane and golden beets. Check the gribiche spoonage
  • Nathan and Joanne
  • Wood oven chicken with sage and grey shallots under a petit salad of shaved fennel and peaches
  • The shock of more wine
  • Lamb loin rubbed with marjoram and thyme; grape leaves stuffed with braised lamb shoulder; leg rubbed with roasted garlic and espelette pepper. The sauce is a Romesco with roasted peppers and Orofino almonds
  • The 1.6 mile Joy Road Supper at Orofino
  • Main course from the sidelines
  • Diners
  • At Covert Farms
  • The Covertible
  • Mamaberry and her three kids
  • Blanketing the vines with a coat of leisure
  • Dusty Ride at Covert Farms
  • Onions, by Jesus
  • Ripe peaches at Covert Farms
  • Blueberries, Covert Farms
  • Sonya with tomatoes
  • Tomatoes at Covert Farms
  • Farming in comfort
  • Peaches in your face
  • Pizza at Covert Farm
  • Tacos at Covert Farms
  • Hills leading down into the lovely, incomparable Similkameen Valley
  • South Okanagan mailboxes
  • A little ice to cleanse the palate against the heat at Stoneboat
  • Tim Martiniuk at Stoneboat Vineyards
  • A pour of Pinotage at Stoneboat
  • Our table at Dolci in Osoyoos
  • Chocolate
  • Minted sparkling water, Dolci (Osoyoos)
  • Annina at Dolci
  • Alex
  • Dolci spread
  • Dolci spreadest
  • Jorg at Dolci
  • Amazing bacon sandwiches, Dolci, Osoyoos
  • Natasha Schooten at Watermark ©Scout Magazine
  • Caprese start
  • Vivace!
  • Sweet pea arancini
  • La Stella winemaker James Cambridge ©Scout Magazine
  • Blue cheese donuts
  • Osoyoos Desert Centre
  • Osoyoos Desert Centre
  • In the tasting room at Hester Creek
  • Winemaker Rob Summers at Hester Creek
  • Terrafina
  • Terrafina
  • Linguine with calamari at Terrafina
  • Terrafina
  • This way
  • The view from La Stella
  • La Stella
  • The tower stairway at La Stella
  • Thanks for reading

Planning a trip up? Here are a few things to do in Penticton and the South Okanagan during the month of September…

The Saturday morning Farmers Market in Penticton is one of the best that we’ve been to. Anywhere. Wander through the market to check out farm-fresh fruits and vegetables, honey and eggs. Have a Joy Road peach or apple gallette for breakfast (and throw a few bags of their granola in your luggage while you’re at it – best granola evah). Stock up on preserves, pickled bits and then finish off with a terrific bratwurst.
Saturday mornings until October 29 | 100 Block of Main Street, Penticton

K-OS plays Tinhorn Creek September 10!
September 10 | Tinhorn Creek Winery | concert 7pm (gates open at 6:30pm) |  $60 | Details

Joy Road Catering hooks up with Road 13 to offer a few Autumnal four-course dinners (paired with some of Road 13 rarest reds). During dinner, Road 13 proprietors, Mick and Pam Luckhurst entertain guests with stories of “life among the vines” The evening ends with a tour of Road 13’s Wine Vault (Read: access to impossible to find vintages) Under $100 is a steal for what you’ll experience but each dinner is limited to 40 people, so don’t stall on booking a seat.
September 13  and October 13 | Road 13 | $ 99 | Details

The Festival of the Grape goes down in Oliver in early October. The one day event includes a parade, wine tasting, face-painting, live entertainment, food vendors, games and a Grape Stomp.
October 2 | Oliver Community Centre | Details

Just throwing this one in for fun. Also on October 2nd :  Wine Country Drag Racing. Make your way to the Osoyoos Airport Runway. Important details gleaned from the Wine Country Racing Association website: Spectators, bring a lawn chair so you can relax & enjoy the action. roper footwear encouraged as area is natural habitat to cactus. Alcohol prohibited 10am – Time Trials. 1pm – Drag Races.  When in Rome…
October 2 | 10am |  Osoyoos Airport | Details

The Annual Fall Okanagan Wine Festival throws down with165 events this year. The air is just starting to cool off, colours are changing and the fall harvest is going down. From seminars and tastings to dinners and parties, it’s a bloody good time.
September 30 – October 9 | Various locations times and dates – for a full listing – click here.

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