by Sean Sherwood | If you’re a local hockey fan and online (or even a little house proud of Vancouver), you’ve probably read Joe O’Conner’s silly, high-school drivel hit-piece of little worth entitled Canucks As Canada’s Team? No Thanks. It likely came to your inbox, Twitter feed or via an angry Facebook post because the chances of a Scout reader being a National Post subscriber are…well…The National Post As Canada’s Newspaper? No Thanks.

It’s sad to see Toronto having such a tough time with Vancouver’s success. Whether on account of the great weather, brilliant scenery, access to the best ski resort in North America, close proximity to the Okanagan and really ridiculously attractive men and women, I’m starting to think it’s just a little too jealous of the West. It’s really starting to show, too, and what’s more, I reckon it’s only 50% to do with the fact that the Canucks are ruling and the Leafs are in a shambles.

I guess it’s easier to cheer for Alberta teams; they’re gritty, they’re underdogs, they get two weeks of summer and they supply Yorkville and the 401 with beef and oil. Besides, Albertans would probably kick the tar out of Torontonians if they didn’t clap for the Flames or the Oilers whenever they make the playoffs.

With us, however, Toronto is starting to come off like that aging cougar that used to be hot and popular and is now just bitter and angry that someone younger, hotter and more popular is getting all the limelight. And frankly, for a city that has earned its reputation for sucking the American culture teat and peacocking like it’s some cleaner version of NYC, (laughs), the sad irony is that Hogtown still can’t get the one thing right that America does so well: patriotism.

But that’s OK, Toronto. We understand, and we still love you, for you. We’ve definitely had some fun times together. You got that tattoo and it was bitchin’ and we did tons of blow with hookers and all your broker buddies in their suits paid the bill so it was cool, but that was then.

We’ve grown up since. Now we’re looking after ourselves better. We’ve decided to cook a little more at home with all this great fresh seafood and pair it with fantastic VQA wines from our backyards. We’re doing more skiing, hiking, sailing and kite-surfing than before, plus we’re into yoga, eating sushi and exploring the world of single malt scotches at our leisure. Oh, and we’re in the Western Conference Finals with a real deal shot at the Cup. We’re not sorry about that or anything else.

And what about you? You’re still that fun frat party we went to way back when everyone had big pecs and wore Ed Hardy shirts (oh, you still do?) and there were keggers and a sweet, Top 40 soundtrack. We still wake up smelling your farts, Axe bodyspray and stale, cheap beer. We still feel your shame. Fresh and stinky.

You’ll always be special, so don’t hate us because we’ve moved on and you’re playing golf in a garbage strike. Friend us on Facebook and we’ll totally go for coffee. Our treat. Promise.

PS. Good luck with the tribal tattoos! I think they still look kinda neat.

PPS. Highlights from last night’s game below. Enjoy.