by Sean Orr | I’ve been saying it for years, but it’s now official: Vancouver police report blames suburbanites for high crime rate. So next time the Province or the Sun talks about the DTES like its a cesspool of crime and disease, please remember this report.

Can’t wait for the fireworks tonight. Maybe if I wear this shirt I won’t have any problems.

Alas, let us bathe in the shadows of Shaw Tower’s $12.88 million mansion in the Vancouver sky while cops are banished, by market forces of course, to those very same suburbs.

Meanwhile, the downtown core turns into a bedroom and has made fun illegal: aka no motorbike noise, leaf blowers, dogs on leashes, dogs off leashes, no pints, and no patios…

Didn’t see much of this story about DTES advocates pitching their 12-step solution in the Province, Sun, Globe, National Post, CKNW, CTV, Global et al. Because, you know, fuck solutions that don’t involve deep-pocketed developers. Um quick, turn to the New Homes section!