Canucks Deserve A Mascot That Could Destroy “Fin The Whale”

If I ever scream at a Cancuks game it’s usually at the team’s official mascot, Fin the Whale. He sucks as bad as irresponsibly farmed salmon. For serious, we provide for 294 consecutive sellout games and all we get as a sideshow is a dude in a whale suit democratically tossing t-shirts to the cheap seats and the grow-op bigwigs. WTF? He might bang the drum with the enthusiasm that comes courtesy of $25 an hour, but does he ever freely thump the living shit out of those apathetic corporate “fans” who slip out of the game early in overtime to beat the post-game exodus of the Great Unwashed? I think not. So let me say this (if I haven’t said it here or elsewhere already)…if the Bruins mascot (above) ever tires of his gig, he’s more than welcome at GM Place, and he wouldn’t want for friends.

Watch more of the golden dude’s unvarnished antics here.