Two things. First, Sean Gregory over at Time is a bit of a wuss. Second, burp…

Believe me, I’m no prude. But all the yelling and screaming and woo-wooing gets grating. These are the fourth Olympics I’ve covered, and Vancouver drinks Athens, Torino and Beijing under the table. I asked a few Olympic journalists who have covered more Games than I have to rate Vancouver on the intoxication scale. Vahe Gregorian of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, who has covered eight Olympics, dating back to Atlanta in 1996, agreed with my chart-topping assessment. In reference to downtown Vancouver’s main strip of nightclubs, he said: “Granville Street itself is unlike anything I’ve seen at an Olympics.” And he noted that all the drinking in Vancouver has led to a lot of public urinating. “I’ve personally witnessed about 8-10 guys whizzing at once along a fence a half a block off the main street,” he said. “It’s like the infield at the Kentucky Derby.”

Oh, you poor dears. Read the whole piece, and then burn it. Wait, that burning part might be a little tricky, but you’re probably so loaded you’ll give it a shot. Don’t.