The Boozeless Cleanse Of A Wine Pro

The beginning of a new year is a sad time. After a couple of weeks of eating and drinking far too much and barely lifting a finger in exercise it is suddenly back to normal, back to work. It is when you finally sit back down at the desk that you contemplate where that extra rubber around the midriff came from.

Personally I have been a firm disbeliever when it comes to cleansing, diets and other short-sighted means to keep looking trim and terrific. A good, balanced approach to food, avoiding fast food and overly processed crap and a bit of exercise is all that should be necessary.

It was with dismay that I discovered that some of my best friends, most ardent eaters and drinkers that they are, had fallen to the dreaded lure of the cleanse. A couple of friends go off alcohol for a few weeks every once in a while just to prove to themselves that they are not alcoholics. Alas, it was even enough to convince my wife and I to try something, to see what on earth had led them down this stray path.

The first part of a cleanse has to be figuring out the rules of the game. This is surprisingly hard. Give up cheese, wine, red meats, bread? How can you avoid these staples of life? After shedding tears and sobbing with horror we decided on the following: no alcohol for 10 days, no caffeine, no cheese and no red meat. This would be supplemented with plenty of exercise. It’s a strong test of one’s character, I thought.

The day before we started this cleanse was very difficult. We started longing for the things we had put in the ‘no go’ basket. We wanted to grab the bottle and drink heartily, gorge on cheese, fat, and meat, all in obscene quantities.

Day 1 started out okay, but the house was in a somber mood. The cheese drawer beckoned every time the fridge was opened. The empties on the counter from the good old days called out with their aromas and flavours and every book or magazine seemed to involve endless, gluttonous feasts. But we made it.

Day 2 we both woke with headaches. I thought you were supposed to get a headache when you did drink? The idea was starting to wear thin. By mid-afternoon, my wife gave in and headed for the cheese drawer (we must have had 10 different cheeses in there, just beckoning). She started trying to convince me that we needed wine, that a cleanse was a stupid idea. I was weakening, but I survived day two.

Day 3 was when it finally fell apart. We gave in and changed the rules. In fact we abandoned the rules but went back to the old adage - everything good but in moderation. This is a better game and more in tune with our philosophy. But we did learn something.

Just two days of restraint gave us so much appreciation for the flavours, aromas and textures that we had taken for granted. Wine aromas have never smelled so clear, so focused, or so tantalising. Cheese would melt in your mouth, exploding with flavour, every bite savoured because, now, we couldn’t just plough through a couple of hundred grams of the stuff.

So our cleanse (if it warrants such a title) has renewed our appreciation for food and wine and made both taste better than ever. For that it was worthwhile. As for the extra rubber around the mid-riff, that will have to be dealt with the old fashioned way – more exercise and restraint – because some things are just too enjoyable to pass up and life is not long enough to go without.

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Rhys Pender is a wine educator, freelance wine writer, wine judge and consultant to the industry. Visit his company Wine Plus+ online at www.wineplus.ca.