Via the Daily Beast we snag a CBS News report that says “Rick Bayless, chef at Chicago’s Frontera Grill and author of cookbooks on contemporary Mexican cuisine, may be the next chef-in-chief.”

The Riverfront Times has more on the Bayless rumour, too, and if you want to get really wonky Rick Bayless’ wiki-bio is here. It’s an interesting read, especially this dick moment he had back five years ago:

In 2003, Bayless courted controversy when he signed on to endorse fast-food giant, Burger King. In TV commercials, the grinning chef could be seen “mmm-mmming” over the fast-food chain’s line of “low-fat” chicken baguette sandwiches. Because of Bayless’ past advocacy of “slow food” and organic ingredients, many dedicated “foodies” were critical of what appeared to be a commercial endorsement.

Ka-ching. A good gig if you can get it (cough – White Spot! – cough).

According to a .gov fact sheet, the President (or the people) employ 5 full time chefs, and “the White House kitchen is able to serve dinner to as many as 140 guests and hors d’oeuvres to more than 1,000.” I assume that includes state dinners and such. There’s also the mess kitchen, which plates for West Wing staffers (more of a cafeteria, really).

Now, to really double down on the wonkiness, you’ve got to meet past White House chef Walter Sheib (1994-2005). He dished for Clinton and Dubya (read a Baltimore Sun interview), and was the fall guy in a French comedy show sting back in 2003. Via the LA Times:

President George W Bush’s personal chef has been humiliated by a team of French practical jokers who tempted him with a job offer to desert his employer and go to work for President Jacques Chirac.

The stunt, which is threatening to spiral into a diplomatic incident, happened when Walter Scheib visited Paris in his capacity as president of the Chefs des Chefs d’Etat, a club for those who cook for the world’s heads of state.

On Wednesday evening he was due to attend a party at the Elysee Palace given by the French leader’s wife, Bernadette. That afternoon a French television company dispatched a Mme Chirac look-alike to his hotel, the Plaza Athenee. The look-alike was accompanied by a producer, doubling as her secretary, and hidden cameras.

When they arrived, the supposed secretary asked Mr Scheib to go to the hotel lobby as Mme Chirac needed to see him urgently about a very delicate matter. Mr Scheib arrived and greeted the look-alike warmly.

M Chirac, she said, was sick of French food. He had once mentioned that he liked calves’ head and he had been eating snouts and lips at official dinners ever since. What he longed for was some good American cooking, hamburgers and barbecue. Would Mr Scheib agree to leave Mr Bush and come to work at the Elysee?

The jokers had been sent by We’ve Tried Everything, a daily early evening programme, which mixes interviews with pranks. Frederic Siaud, the editor-in-chief of the show, said Mr Scheib seemed overwhelmed by the offer. “He fell completely into the trap. He said, ‘I can’t leave George Bush just like that, I must think, this is a great honour for me’. But he did not refuse.” The phoney Mme Chirac pressed him, saying her husband wanted a reply at the party in the evening, in three hours’ time. Mr Scheib said he needed half an hour to think, if she could wait.

It gets better, so read the whole thing here.

Scheib was rumoured to have clashed plenty with Laura Bush, but he wasn’t the only White House chef to make headlines. A 2005 article in The Atlantic listed several doozies, among them an assistant pastry chef who sued alleging the executive pastry chef “punished her with menial tasks for refusing sex” and an assistant chef who threatened to poison the First Family.

Lesson learned: every kitchen is dysfunctional, so relax.