The Guiltless T-Bones of 2022

Tired of angry hippies accosting you when you go into your favourite dining establishment? Sick of hearing about how delicious animals had to die just so you could feed yourself? Frustrated that despite your best efforts you can’t make everything you eat taste like bacon?

The time has come, people, and the revolution is starting.

New Harvest, an organization devoted to the creation of cultured meat products, has been formed to rescue all of us who just can’t bear to eat anything that ‘has a face’. The group’s founder, Jason Methany, a biologist at Johns Hopkins University, has been following in the footsteps of NASA and the Dutch government who’ve have been working on bringing us our favourite meats without the messy cleanup and moral hang-ups.

Leaving all the science to the geeks, I skimmed the website and besides all the mumbo jumbo on building a better planet the only real hangup was that it uses stem cells. Which is good, because if they ever decided to make cultured “people meat” it would be illegal. But imagine if they did, and it was really good?

Soylent Green, baby. Soylent Green!